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Self-Care vs. Selfish

One of the main lies my Awfulizer tells me is that self-care is selfish — that taking the time for myself to write, go to therapy, work out, or just sit and read a book is wrong. That is a lie, but it’s one I have believed for a long time. I think that may be why self-care is always the first thing we drop when we get busy or stressed out. Which is funny, because it’s probably the more important thing to keep in your life when you are. Once our self-care time goes, I think we can all attest, the spirals into unhealthiness begin. Taking away that time for yourself opens up the gates to be overtired, overemotional and overwrought. I always justify that I am actually helping myself by filling u

You Were on The Cross

Lost, everything is lost And everything I've loved before is gone Alone like the coming of the frost And a cold winter's chill in my stony heart And where were You when all that I've hoped for? Where were You when all that I've dreamed? Came crashing down in shambles around me You were on the cross Pain, could you take away the pain? If I find someone to blame, would it make my life seem easier? Alone, all my friends are asleep And I can't find anyone to stay awake with me Where were You when sin stole my innocence? Where were You when I was ashamed? Hiding in a life, I wish, I never made You were on the cross, my God, my God, all alone, all alone You were on the cross, You died for us, all

Real Talk

Confession time, sort of. In order to get ready to do this whole blog thing, I pre-wrote a lot of the blogs you have been reading. I wanted to be sure I was able to post every week and also blogging was very therapeutic for me. They felt like they were just pouring out of me and I was in a great place emotionally, mentally and physically. It also allowed me to get them edited, which you will soon see I desperately need help with. “I got this,” I thought, “look how easy it is to write!” Well, right now I am not in a great place. It feels like life has peaked for me in a sort of perfect storm. I am in the (hopefully) tail end of a home `remodel, trying to finalize my book, be an active blogge


I’ve always had a really hard time with the word “no.” It’s not hard for me to hear it — truthfully, I expect to hear it. The problem I have is with saying it. I have this fear that if I tell someone no, and if I don’t do what they want, then they won’t like me anymore. That terrifies me, so I say yes. Obviously, this is no way to live a healthy life. People take advantage of people who always say yes. You end up agreeing to do things you don’t want to do, you overexert yourself, and you get put in a lot of unhealthy situations. But it’s also not true, or healthy to think, that people will stop liking you simply because you can’t do something for them. It has taken me 39 years to realize thi

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